Just A Little Shut Eye (45 of 90)

Here's Tuesday's post. I'm finally not so far behind, haha.

Oh Sleeping:

I have awful sleeping habits. I'm just going to admit that now. During the summers and breaks my sleep schedule doesn't particularly have a semblance of normalcy and during the school year, well it's pretty messed up too.

Today I accidentally passed out for 2.5 hours after class while attempting to do work on stuff for said class. It was all accidental I swear. But that's not out of the ordinary. I frequently pass out for a bit after Mag. But I've gotten really bad at night.

I have a tendency to stay up talking to people until I pass out. Quite literally recently. For instance, a few nights ago I passed out in front of my computer. Left it open with people still talking to me. I woke up at 5 laughed a bit and closed the monitor. Then passed back out without putting it away. Earlier tonight though, well that was a bit different.

Apparently I managed to pass out within two minutes of my last out going message. I only know this 'cause I had a response not two minutes later, that I don't ever remember seeing. I woke up long enough to flip the monitor closed again, and actually manage to put my computer away this time though. Which I guess is a plus. But still, I really need to kick this habit of passing out like that. It's getting highly inconvenient. I passed out at an inopportune moment last night, I wish I had have made it at least five more minutes. But alas, there's not much I can do about that now.

Quote of the Day:

"When you don't share your problems you resent hearing the problems of other people."

- Chuck Palahniuk

Femme Fatality (44 of 90)

Here's Monday's post.

In which I bitch and complain:

I believe that one of the worst physical pains any normal female can experience is the pain of waking up to a pain in your gut. And not just any pain, but one that said female knows is uterus induces. It's just a terrible feeling all around.

Eventually the pain will subside, it always does, but the waiting is terrible, and in the beginning you're never quite sure if you'll get over the pain all by your lonesome, or if you're going to require a shit ton of drugs to help kick start and finish the journey. For some reason I feel like that could be a metaphor for something, but hell if I know what. It' s5am and my stomach hates me. I can't be expected to understand what the hell I'm thinking.

Quote of the Day:

"We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people."

- Arthur Schopenhauer

Oh Sunday... (43 of 90)

Alright, I know I've gotten behind again. But well, through a series of unexpected events there was a lot of shit thrown at me the past few days, so yeah. A little lateness in getting these uploaded is to be expected.

Sunday's Post:

Today I woke up and had the strangest craving for pancakes. Which would normally be a problem seeing as it was 11ish am and breakfast isn't served on campus past 10.30. But, I know a bunch of awesome people, and pancakes are always a good idea.

So approximately 2 hours later I found myself in a car with Ray, Tori, and Bill on our way to deliciousness. T'was fun, and pancake filled. From there we decided to pick up Tori's car in case we decided to do something else that day, and then go back for homework time.

Of course, me and homework are mortal enemies (with homework winning almost every fight) so I resisted doing anything. We ended up at Ray's to "do homework". Tori accomplished things. I watched Ray play Final Fantasy. I really should have done some work.

Because as I sit here, I've managed to accomplish jack shit, other than eat a vast amount of cake because my life is a piece of interesting. It's funny how quick a day can go from awesome to wtfbbqomgdamnshitfuck. My foresight on buying copious amounts of cake was amazing. I'm so awesome like that, haha.

Quote of the Day:

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to pick up the pieces when it's all over."

- Octavia Butler

Long Day (42 of 90)

Here's Saturday's post.

Oh Lawd Was Today Long:

So after the lack of sleep that was last night, today began fairly early. And by fairly early I mean approximately 7am or so. After the shenanigans of 10 people or so trying to use 1 bathroom we made our way to McDonald's for breakfast. I won a small fry off of my hash brown.

The tourney was huge. It seemed like there were even more people than last time even though we had the full gym as opposed to just half the gym. The bouts were pretty intense, and it was a lot of fun running around snapping pictures and seeing who the competition was. We made some interesting observations. And by 'we' I clearly mean, Tori, Ray, Brittany, and myself.

We found a guy who kinda looked like Patrick Stewart, a truckload of gingers, a calvin klein model, a polo model, a barack obama vampire, among others. Hilarity ensued. But admittedly the best event of the day was watching Brian fence Hannahan.

Why? Because it's always fun to watch the underdog win. And even more so when you know said underdog and can see him getting more excited the longer the match goes on. It was entirely enthralling and you could tell how excited everyone was getting. Good match Brian, you've officially earned your bigheadedness, for now at least.

We were watching bouts from approximately 9.30 until 7.00 or so. I can't say that I ever got bored with the fencing. Congratulations stabbing sport, you've managed to hold my attention longer than just about anything else.

Overall, the trip was extremely fun and I'm glad I went. Sure, I missed a lot of sleep, and sure, I could have been doing something else. But it was a blast, and honestly, much better than last semester's trip.

Quote of the Day:

"If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me."

- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Oh well, had fun anyway (41 of 90)

Alright, I was gone this weekend, but these are a bit later than I expected anyway. Life happens.

It's Friday night:

Alright, so it's 3.45am and I"m still awake. Not because I particularly feel like being awake, but because I'm on drunk duty. Our favorite saberist drank himself sick, and I'm attempting to make sure he doesn't barf himself to death. He should be fine now, but just in case I'm going to watch him for at least another 15 minutes. His breathing is regular, and he's on his side, but still. He was pretty bad earlier... Can't have the kid dying on us.

Why am I on watch? Because most people are competing tomorrow. Or were sleep before we managed to get him down. Or are unwilling. So here I am, playing pokemon, and writing my blog entry at damn near 4 in the morning. I think I'll sleep soon, he should be fine. But at the same time, I'm worried. Kid's never really been drunk before, had a lot of rum, wretched for at least an hour, and is sleeping on the kitchen floor.

Someone in this house is a freakishly loud sleeper. Honestly, I think it might be Tori. It's not snoring per-se, but more of a stuffy nose sleeper. It's quite amusing and annoying at the same time...

I'm not sure how I'll act in the morning. Or how much sleep I'll get. I'm hoping I can be civil, and mildly awake for tomorrow. I don't wanna throw a bitch fit or anything... I suppose we'll see how it works out. But damn, I'm kinda sleepy, and it's fucking cold. And there are a lot of snorers.

Quote of the Day:

"My mind tells me to give up, but my heart won't let me."

- Jennifer Tyler

Should be Interesting (40 of 90)

Ha, told you it'd be here, on time for a change too!

Lets not talk about writing shall we:

So we're all supposed to be heading out to Purdue tomorrow and it's supposed to be fun. I guess. I'm not sure how this is going to play out exactly lol. We're all heading up tomorrow evening-ish in two cars (which apparently just changed from three? I don't know... I just get and pass on the text messages...) to do essentially what we did last time.

Which is fine by me on a base level, I have no issue with noms, friends, and fencing for a day and a half or so. I'm just curious, and mildly wary, of how it's going to go down. We've got a different group of people this time, and different circumstances. Ok, I'm lying. I'm mostly worried about me, haha.

Now I don't really say this out of worry for myself, per-se (which I realize is entirely different from what I said in the last sentence) but more out of worry for others. And then there's the worry for myself. Now, if you know anything about me, my general behavior, and my current situation then you'd understand the wariness (somewhat, not fully though. probably). I'd take the time to explain it here, but I'm not entirely comfortable with just throwing all of that out here on the internet. Hell, I don't even tell the people I'm closest to what I'm doing half the time.

But needless to say, if any shenanigans should occur, I will tell the internets about them.

Quote of the Day:

"They can do it all because they think they can."

- Virgil

Realization (39 of 90)

Ok, here's yesterdays post. And yes, I will in fact put up tonights as well.

In which I complain about writing some more:

Articles are hard to write. Like, really hard. I don't think I ever realized that until I actually sat down and tried to think of what to write. It's entirely different than news stories.

In news, I can bullshit my way through. At least so far. They give you the information, you write about it. Inverted pyramid. It hasn't been very challenging yet. But for magazine, it's really proving to be an entirely different beast.

Which is probably why I'm staring at a blank word document wondering what the hell I'm doing.

I know what I want to write, sort of. But none of it is right. Nothing. What I do manage to write sounds like shit, looks like shit, and probably legitimately is shit. And surprisingly, I think I'm ok with this. I think that's the point of all this. I don't know shit about anything, so it seems like writing shit right now should be ok. It's a learning experience. Now I know that I don't know shit about what I want to do, so I should learn what the fuck I'm doing before I attempt to do it for real, you know?

I just wrote that paragraph, and I feel like I'm just restating everything that's been said in class. Because I am. But even if you think you understand what's going on, and believe that you believe what's being said, there's still a difference between that and actually knowing. I now know what I don't know. I know that I don't know anything. And well, that's half the point of this class, isn't it?

Quote of the Day:

"Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it."

- Jane Wagner

Transform (38 of 90)

Yesterday's post. Man, I really should remember to post before bed more often...

Ha, well then:

I'm supposed to be writing again. Not that that's really any news. I'm always supposed to be writing. Which is probably why this blog has evolved into me ranting and raving about writing, the writing process, and anything else involved that I haven't mentioned.

I'm kind of happy that this is turning into a writing based blog. By all means, it's still somewhat random, but it's evolving into a blog about my journey. Which is, I suppose a good thing. Because maybe one day I'll be able to look back on my daily (which by the way, is a word I cannot spell correctly, I automatically insert an E before I think about what I'm doing) struggles with writing and think, "oh lookit little me. I had such a hard time!" Or hell, maybe I'll look back and go"... yup. nothing's changed."

It's an interesting prospect. Dialoguing my struggles with, love for, and hatred of writing. And hell, I'm still an undergrad. I don't even know shit yet. What happens when I actually know what the hell I'm doing, or supposed to be doing? Will it get easier? Or will it get worse? What happens if I get a job where I'm supposed to do this shit? What then? I have no bloody idea. But in the mean time, I'll keep cranking out assignments and blogs about assignments, and maybe a few random lines here and there.

I haven't done anything yet, but maybe one day I will. And in the mean time, I'll do what I can.

Quote of the Day:

"My heart's beginning to, slightly over rule my head."

- Natasha Bedingfield

School Woes (37 of 90)

Here's yesterday's post. I got distracted and never actually put this up.

Oh Lawd:

So today (for the second day in a row) I have attempted to do my critiques for English. Normally, I wouldn't be so slow about this, but well. This weekend/today, I have been. One of the papers is 14 pages long. Not so long in the long run (ha, pun) but piled on top of everything else, I'm just being lazy about it.

I've finished the other two critiques, but I'm really dragging on this last one. It's 14 pages. Of some fiction story that sounds like it's part of a larger work. I say that because there are references to shit I know nothing about. Clearly I'll have enough to manage a one page critique, but man am I being lazy.

Which brings me to the main idea... this laziness is going to kill me, haha. Why? Because I have nothing but stories and projects to do from here on out. So I really need to get the ball rolling. I'll be contacting people for the rest of the week for interviews and things, which brings me to another point.

I'm terrified of phones. Haha, I'm going to be a horrible reporter if I can't shake this stupid 'fear'. I just have an aversion to calling up random people and asking for things. Which, as anyone can guess, it's going to be a problem for my intended career path. I suppose I'll just have to practice? Call up random people and ask for shit more often? I don't know. Maybe I'll start with Chinese food places.

Quote of the Day:

"Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none."

- Jules Renard

You're my new obsession... (36 of 90)

I should be sleeping, but I thought I'd manage tonight's post before I did so :)

It's been an interesting day:

I've had a multitude of interesting conversations today. Some of which were informative, others nerve wracking, others still quite amusing. I've been quite lax today, I didn't accomplish nearly as much as I intended to, but that's the way the cookie crumbles, eh?

But it's interesting, the art of conversation that is. With different people, we talk in different ways, things don't ever come out the same. The type of conversation changes our words as well, be it formal, or casual. I have this lovely habit of becoming the most infuriating, irritating, annoying person on the planet when some subjects come up. Why? Partially for reasons displayed in earlier posts, partially 'cause I'm a sadistic little bastard.

But in any case, back to the main point. Words, the choice of particular words, it's fascinating. It's part of the reason I'm not a creative writing minor (even though I've taken most of the fiction writing courses already). I want to know why we say and write the things we do. That's why I went with general English, I could take a few linguistics courses. I think they've helped me pay more attention to the way we actually put together our sentences.

Not just the syntax mind you, but the way we typically form sentences, the way that people speak. It's amazing the different ways we address different people in different situations. The way my own tone of voice (yes, even over the internets) can switch depending on mood or conversation.

It's funny. How my obsession with words grows. I don't think I ever could have imagined being this invested in the form and functions of a language before. Maybe that's why I never could get into learning other languages, I'm in love with this one.

Quote of the Day:

"Language is the means of getting an idea from my brain into yours without surgery."

- Mark Amidon

Sounds Like A Personal Problem To Me (35 of 90)

Here's Saturday's post. Apologies for the lateness, that social life thing snuck up on me.

Continued thoughts:

So yesterday I talked about friends, and it was a little angrier sounding than I intended. But I do suppose I'm a bit more bitter about all of this than I intend to be. It's just that shit like this has happened to me far to often for my liking. And by 'shit like this' I mean that transition where people you know become people you knew.

It's terrible. Sure it happens to everyone at some point in time, but across the span of my admittedly short life, it's happened far to often for my liking. So you'll have to understand that every time it happens, I have a tendency to be a little resigned and bitter about it. It's turned into an expected outcome for many of my friendships now, that they end that is. I've come to accept that people come and go, which is probably a good lesson.

But a friend of mine told me once that that's kind of a shitty outlook. I believe him. It's a terrible outlook on people, and I'm working at trying to fix that. So I apologize if I appear blunt, unapproachable, or unwilling to fully open up, or anything like that at first (and 'at first' can stretch on for a long time in my world). It's probably not that I don't like you, it's more like if you don't survive my trial period I'm entirely reluctant to let you in too far.

You can only get stabbed in the nipple so many times before you wise up and start wearing that chest plate, you know?

Haha, angrier sounding than I expected (34 of 90)

Social lives are fun. Honestly, I've never really had one. I'm too lazy. And too bad with people. But, for now at least, I have some how managed to obtain one. It's an interesting prospect. Having people to do something with. Weird. Haha.

In any case, back to the friends thing. (Yeah, I know I really need some new material) Friends are quite nice. I figure I've lost a few this year, which is nothing new honestly, but I've made up for the losses exponentially for once. It's kind of cool. Sure, every few days I wonder what's going on with the ones I don't talk to much anymore, but overall, I'm quite satisfied with my life as is.

Yes, it'd be nice to talk to them some more, and hypothetically I could take the initiative to do so. But, I'm not sure if I can do that. I mean, by all means, I could but it all comes back to my normal problem. I hardly ever want to be the one to make the first move. Because if you don't want me around, I won't be. End of story. It takes two, you know? And if you weren't willing to put forth the effort in the first place, why should I make up that slack now? Yeah, it's probably a little extreme, but unfortunately for everyone I know now I've spent far too much of my time in the past desperately trying to hold on to people who just didn't give a shit. Maybe one day I'll be able to deal better, but for now, effort has to come from both sides and you're probably going to have to initiate. Sorry loves, but I'm not up for that bull shit again.

I Wanna Be The Very Best (33 of 90)

And here's tonight's thoughts.

Like no one ever was:

My copy of Pokemon HeartGold came in the mail Wednesday. Joy all around. I'm loving it. I've named my little boy Tony (because I'm obsessed with Iron Man at the moment. And because the girl sprite was hideous) I'm pretty sure his signature pokemon is going to be a Sentret. Why? Because they're awesome, hush fool.

I think it's awesome how many people I know that play pokemon. I really do. It's always more fun to have someone to play with, and it's highly amusing seeing us all running around with PokeWalkers. Like, legit.

Today's post is going to be happy and short. I don't have much to say. Other than friends are awesome things. It's a lovely thing to have people around that you actually like and enjoy spending time with. I say this because I'm inclined to not take this stuff for granted any more. Life is good. Even if I have no idea how to make it through Magazine yet.

Life. Is. Good.

Quote of the Day:

"Livin lovin, Lovin livin, it's all good. Lovin livin it's all good."

-Will Smith

Madness

I wrote this yesterday, just didn't have the energy to post... it was a long night.

Does That Make Me Crazy:

I am quite positive that all writers must be partially insane. Not only because of the crazy voices in their heads, but for ever choosing this profession. Why the hell do we willingly do this to ourselves? Willingly submit to the madness and give our bodies over to forces that are not our own. I don't control me, the stories compel me. It's why I'm sitting here in the dark at 5am typing this rather than sleeping. It's why I agonized over every word I wrote for class tonight. It's why I get so excited everything writing happens. Every time something falls together in a decent way. I hate it. I hate it. I hate writing. I that what it's done to me. I love writing. I live writing. I love what it's made of me.

Am I going to be stuck in this love hate relationship for the rest of my life? I feel I will. I don't think I have any other choice. The words, they've captured me. I'm a hostage in my own mind. How weird is that? Captured and compelled by the very essence of myself. What I'd give to be normal again. To not stay awake in the night dreaming of writing and writing of dreaming. It'd be grand if I knew how to do anything else. I think I know what Brad meant now. Get out if you can, if you can do anything else, do it. Once it grabs you, there's no letting go.

Maybe I'll tell my dad I'm going to grad school. Not law school, grad school. If I don't write, I'll probably go mad. More so I mean. If that's even possible.

Quote of the Day:

"How could you be so Dr. Evil?"

- Kanye West (Heartless)

Writers Block..Again (31 of 90)

Sorry I've been missing. Don't know what I've been doing exactly...

Ravings:

I'm supposed to be writing a story, but I have no idea what to write. I can't think of anything at all. I think that's always the hardest part of writing... figuring out what the hell to write. I haven't even blogged the past two days. I think part of it is that I've been kinda busy, but the other part is that I haven't had anything to say. It's really bad. I wanted to keep writing for the 90 in 90. So now it's more like 90 in 92. Suck. Oh well, I'll still keep going with it though, I want to keep it up. Besides, I did write those days, just not blog stuff. I wrote class stuff, so that has to count for something, right? I think it should. I hope it does. I hope it does...

I've heard free writing is supposed to help you get the creative juices flowing, but right now it's not working. Well, at least not yet. It is only about 2 or 3 minutes of random thoughts. I haven't even thought of anything that could be a story yet. Maybe I'll write what I thought about on the plane.

There was the story about the battles held in the clouds. I dunno, I just saw these vast armies in opposing cloud banks. I've also been on the other side of the clouds, and from that end it looks more like geography; mountains and ridges and things of that nature. Either way, the sky is gorgeous, I love it. It's so blue. So vast. It almost seems endless. That blue, blue sky. But that's not really a story is it? How pretty the sky is. There's no conflict. No one to talk about.

Quote of the Day:

"Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go."

- E.L. Doctorow

Where Are We Runnin? (30 of 90)

And finally today's post!

Cohesive Thought?:

It's all related. I swear. At least, it is in my head.

I always thought airports were interesting places. A mingling of cultures, the hustle and bustle of people trying desperately to make their flight. Pay phone booths are abandoned as thousands of people march diligently by, cell phones glued to their ears. There's so many people filing by, off to god knows where. Travelers, vacationers, business minded folks, soldiers, pilots. So many different people. Sometimes, I try to guess where they're going. Many times you can tell by their manner of dress. Business or casual. Age group helps too, Spring Breakers, family trips. So many people.

Airports are even more fascinating not that I'm a 'writer'. Or rather, now that I pay more attention. So many people, so many stories. There's an old man and his wife in front of me. Part of me wonders what their story is. Where they're going, where they've been. Is this a transfer or a direct flight? Most of me doesn't care. I've already made a story in my head.

They're off to visit family. The old man is protective of his wife. They've just celebrated their 51st anniversary. They've loved each other 57 years. They have a son and a daughter living in Indy. Three grand kids: 2 boys and a baby girl. They're off to see her, she'll be three next week.

I realize I've done this for everyone I see. I give them a story, a personality. With just a glance. I imagine I know something about them. From the hair cuts and walk I can tell the military men apart. The chin angle and posture tells career women from house mom. So many little details to take in. I wonder if anyone else is doing the same. What do I look like? Does my slouch and notebook mark me as a student? Do I look old enough to be one? I'm not sure. I have no way of knowing. But I'm curious. What story have they given me?

Quote of the Day:

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

- Rita Rudner

Awakening (29 of 90)

Moar posting.

Thursdays Thoughts:

Tonight I watched Spring Awakening. I liked it. Not loved it or anything like that, but I did enjoy it. Especially the punk-ish song moments. That probably has something to do with the school boy uniforms and punk rock concert-ey bits. Either way, I really enjoyed those bits. Oh guy who played Morris, you're awesome. Back to the point: I enjoyed it. My family, not nearly as much. Haha.

Didn't I feel young giggling and grinning at some of the more ridiculous sexual moments. Masturbating on stage? Highly amusing. Why? Probably because I'm immature. Who knows. But I could tell my family was not nearly as amused. Why? Because they're all 40+ probably. Turns out half of them didn't even understand what was going on. Disappointing really, play had a good moral (of which they had no idea).

Side note: I enjoyed the lovely "SEX MAKES BABIES?!?!?" moment. Yeah yeah, I know. It's a serious moment, and key to understanding the play, but really, I can't be the only one seeing "SEX MAKES BABIES?!?!?!?" all over that girls face. Hilarity and disappointment in the system all at once. You know it's a good play when it manages that.

But outside of the play, there was the fog. Outside I mean. It hovered in the sky, coating the tops of Atlanta's skyscrapers. It was beautiful. I don't know why, but I almost enjoyed looking at the foggy skyline more than the play. Hell, I might have truly enjoyed it more. Something about it just connected with me. I can't remember if I've ever seen anything like that. If I have, it must have been before I could appreciate stuff like that. But appreciate I did, and I'm still enjoying the thought of it.

Quote of the Day:

"Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money."

- Jules Renard

Who Knows (28 of 90)

It's been three days... sorry loves. I was out of internets. I did write every day though, so I'll post my blog-ish things now. Apologies on the lateness.

Wednesdays Thoughts:

I went to bible study today and it got me thinking. We read from Romans 14, and as we were going through it my initial reaction was "God says calm the fuck down and let people do what they want."

Of course, the class went through this bringing people to Christ bit, but I hold firm in my beliefs. I don't think that's what it said at all. I don't believe it's my job to tell people if their religion is right or wrong. I don't believe it's my place to say that mine is superior, nor is it my job to actively tell people to abandon their faith for mine. I believe there is truth in all religions. That if you have faith, and believe in something (something being somewhat widely defined in my book) and you're a good person then you'll be cool. I think that's all it really comes down to. Are you a good person? Are you trying to be? That's all that should matter.

Who knows if it is though.

Quote of the Day:

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous- everyone hasn't met me yet."

- Rodney Dangerfield

Randomness (27 of 90)

Here's today's post before I forget again

Random Thoughts:

That's really what today's post is. Random thoughts I've had throughout the day. Here goes nothing.

I always feel so young riding in the backseat of cars. I have this tendency to lean over and peer out the window with my chin resting on the ledge before the window, hands on either side of my face. Sometimes I twitch around like a bored kid, or more often than not I get sleepy and prone to nap taking. I know I don't look my age, and my behavior, demeanor, and hobbies probably don't help much either. But riding in the backseat of cars, I really do feel like a kid. Especially now. I'm staring at the back of my grandparents heads and looking out the window like a lost puppy. I wonder how I look to other cars on the road.

I wish I had a greater appreciation for the old things. We went to Madison, GA to look at some old timey civil war era houses and such today. Yeah, I appreciated it. It was kinda cool to look at, but at the same time... I don't know. I just can't invest that much interest in it. I've tried. But my heads in the clouds and my minds set on the future.

Quote of the Day:

"Use your brain. How far does it look?"

"I don't know, my brain does GPS not maps."

- Grandpa and Me

Never A Straight Answer (26 of 90)

Yeah, totally missed last nights post. I'm not entirely sure why, considering I had the full opportunity to post. Sorry guys, mostly sorry to myself though. I want to write everyday, but forgetting is all to easy.

Interesting Concept:

Last night I was doing silly little facebook surveys instead of 'legit' writing. One of the questions was are you 100% single. Now, I found this question interesting, because most times people assume that it's gotta be one of the other. You're either single or taken. There's no 'real' in between. Of course, some people realize that at times there's no clear definition, you can be single in increments.

For example, sure little Suzy is technically single, but she's talking to this guy, Chuckie, and there's potential there. So when Phil comes around, she's not fully available, you know? Now of course, that's not the only way someone can be 'partially' single, but you understand the concept.

Now, when I answered my question, I answered with a simple 80% (and a teasing that I wouldn't explain the reasoning) Why 80%? It's an entirely arbitrary number. It has no real meaning other than giving off the impression that I don't consider myself to be 'fully' single. There are probably varying degrees of truth to that impression, but I don't feel the need to clarify that statement any more than it already has been.

Now, the real point of the matter. Generally speaking, when I post my facebook surveys someone finds some answer interesting and proceeds to inquire further about it. I think I've picked the question of interest this time around, and I'm wondering who'll rise to the challenge and call me out on in. It'll be an interesting conversation to say the least.

Quote of the Day:

"Part of being a hero is knowing when you don't need to be one any more."

- Alan Moore (Watchmen)

This Could Pose A Problem (25 of 90)

Hey all. Finally a post before midnight.

I Went To Church Today:

It's been awhile since I've gone. Overall, I suppose it was a good sermon. I tried to pay attention, I really did. I succeeded for the most part too. But there was a slight itty bitty problem. My damn journalism training.

I found my eyes wandering, my attention waining, the writer inside curious as the sermon wore on. I compared and contrasted preaching styles to my pastor back home. I stared at the interesting characters, wondered what their stories were. I marveled at the architecture of the place (which I've determined must have been based on round barns). I couldn't help but wish I had my recorder with me when this dude named James Brown (not shitting you, I swear) started talking with this badass deep voice. I wondered how the church was doing after the transgressions of the previous pastor. I thought that a group they were running would make a good story. Very visual. Potentially great audio too.

I wonder if this is what the rest of my life is doomed to? A continuous stream of insatiable curiosity, not just for the sake of curiosity, but for the sake of the story. I wish I had more time here, I think I could throw something together. It makes me wonder what goes on in my own community. I should get out more. I've only been here for a day, and there's so many things to look at, to write about, it's amazing. I think I'll come back with something decent for my news class. I have no idea what I'm going to do about magazine though, all my ideas seem so small. And not follow-through ish. Bleh. Oh well, small victories for now. Small victories.

Quote of the Day:

"Good bye. I am leaving because I am bored."

- George Saunders

SB '10 Day 1 (24 of 40)

Oh hey, updates!

I'm having fun already:

So, basically I spent today in various modes of transportation. Car to airport. Airport to airplane. Airplane to airport. Airport to car. Car to house. House to car. Car to hairdresser. Hairdresser to car. That's the day. But clearly it's not the exciting or fun version of the day.

Somewhere along the line I decided it would be a swell idea to film my day. I'm so happy I did. I'm a ridiculous person. The videos are short clips of things I found interesting throughout the day with intermittent pictures too. Now, it's all horrible quality, 'cause I took everything with my phone, but that's part of the charm. It's all jerky and ridiculous, and you can't see or hear that well, and it's awesome. I'm planning on slowly uploading to either here, or tumblr (or most likely both). I think it'll be fun. Just a small insight into what I do all day everyday.

I also spent the plane ride next to two cute guys as opposed to the normal smelly old guy or old lady. It was lovely. One was foreign and had a guitar in the overhead compartment. I wish they had have been talkative, but oh well. Maybe I should have struck up a conversation. Maybe next time. So instead of talking to them I chronicled my feelings about flight and such. T'was cool. I'll upload that sometime as well, you know, once I make it sorta pretty sounding.

Did you know planes come with wifi now? It's a little more than ridiculous. But exciting none the less. They also have TV's installed in every seat. I wonder what that says about our society...

Quote of the Day:

"Machines take me by surprise with great frequency"

- Alan Turing

In Which My Post Really Sounds Like A Blog Post (23 of 90)

Randomness:

I had the opportunity to actually update this before the date on the clock changed, but clearly I did not. I'm not entirely sure why I didn't, but it probably has something to do with my laziness. In any case, the main point of this update: I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update during the next week.

Now, I will wholeheartedly try to continue updating daily, but I'll be at my grandparents house, and they happen to not have wireless internets, so my appearance online will be sporadic at best. I'd apologize for this, but I'm not sorry. I'm quite excited.

My plans for the week (which just so happens to be Spring Break 2010) include hanging out with the family, and writing. Not much else in all actuality. I'll be working on projects and the like, free writing, and generally kicking back. I'm hoping to knock out a rough draft for a short story (for class), get the story ideas concrete for magazine, and free write lots. Oh, and continue my blogging adventures. Now, these blogging adventures might not get uploaded on time, but I assure you that I will continue my attempts to write at least once a day.

Did I mention I'm flying there? I love flying. I know it's silly to be so excited about an airport, but airports have planes, and I enjoy them. I'm hoping to snap a few pictures of the journey, so check the side bar folks. I'll actually be updating that now, on account of me finally getting a new SD card for my phone.

On a side note: I'm bringing the Great Gatsby along with me for the trip. It'll be the first time I've read it since high school, and I'm curious to see what my thoughts'll be the second go 'round. So once I finish I'll tell you all how it goes. G'nite all.

Quote of the Day:

"I'm not sure if I love you enough to make cookies. But I'd probably go buy obviously pre-packaged cookies and pretend I made them for you."

- Me

I Won (22 of 90)

It's Thursday again... so that means...

Fencing Chronicles:

I did it. Well, we did it. I'm entirely thrilled. Like, super thrilled. I shouldn't be this happy about someones downfall, but dammit, I am. We beat them. Team Awesome suffered it's first loss, and I helped!

I was partnered with Nathan tonight (Dayna was working on a paper) and we beat Brian and Bill. I'm still a bit bubbly about it. Ok, more than a bit. I'm thoroughly enjoying this. I stabbed and dodged, I came out victorious! I have gloating rights forever mostly because I've given them to myself.

I think I needed the victory. For myself. Not just because I've been hoping someone would knock their ego's down a bit since the beginning. Sure that part was amusing, but the rush of knowing I could do it was worth far more.

I needed to know I could do it. I needed to know that I could hold my own. I needed to know that I'm not just wasting my time, that I'm not just the newbie fodder I've been working as for what feels like forever. That I'm worth a halfway decent bout. I know it sounds ridiculous, trust me, I know. But I needed it anyway. I'm tired of fencing only newbies. I'm tired of being written off.

I'm tired of so many things. So I'm doing something about it. I'm winning. It's cool. Of course, I ended up in a coughing fit for the next 30 minutes, but I won. Dammit, I won. Ignore me now.

Quote of the Day:

"You have to recognize when the right place and the right time fuse and take advantage of that opportunity. There are plenty of opportunities out there. You can't sit back and wait."

- Ellen Metcalf

In Which I Write About Writing...Again (21 of 90)

Hello again.

Didn't I do this yesterday?:

I might have. I'm not entirely sure, but seeing as tonight was spent much like last night, I'm not going to apologize for any similarity in posts. I'm writing yet another critique. Of course, this one isn't creatively critical, its more straight analysis/critique, but still. My days and nights are spent working on these things, it's only logical that I constantly think about them.

The analysis for my magazine class is entirely different than what I've ever done before. It's actually kind of refreshing, in that annoying as all hell kind of way. I'm still not entirely sure I'm doing this properly, but that's fine by me, I feel like I've gotten a little bit closer to what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to remove myself from the equation, it's not about whether you like the story or like how it's written, it's about the words on the page. The way they flow, how they function, what purpose they serve. As I read through, I actually find myself enjoying looking at the stories so closely, but at the same time it's entirely strange.

I spend most of my Wednesdays working on creative critical essays, which are, for the most part, entirely about what I think and how the words make me feel. And then I turn around Wednesday nights and ignore all feeling and analyze in an entirely different way. It's exciting.

I know, I'm a nerd. I'm genuinely excited by the different ways you can analyze something. Last semester I did literary analysis. This semester creative critical and I don't even know what to call it. Three different ways to analyze over the course of a year. Not to mention these writing styles are entirely different from anything I'd had to do in a class before. I love that.

I am, however, extremely glad that I tend to look over the works on separate days. I read through magazine stuff on Sundays and Mondays generally, and English stuff whenever I find time. I think that if I tried to do both in succession, or if the reading material were remotely similar, I might have issues crossing over styles. Yay short stories vs. magazine articles.

Hopefully magazine stuff won't start taking over too much, I've already tried to hero's journey Star Trek, much to my chagrin.

Quote of the Day:

"You must write every single day of your life... you must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads... may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world."

-Ray Bradbury

Something's Gotta Change (20 of 90)

Hullo. Here be a post.

I'm listening to Maroon 5:

Thought you should know. Any who, Spring Break is drawing closer and closer. I can almost taste it. I'm excited. I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now, or studying, but obviously I'm doing neither. Why? Because I'm farther along than I normally am. And I thought I should release some thoughts before I continued on my creative critical journey.

Creative critical essays are actually pretty fun. I was skeptical at first, but I've had a good time writing them for the most part. Sometimes they're pretty frustrating, but that's writing. I've learned to accept it. It's weird, I think I am getting closer to my writing. I'm being drawn in. There really are little writers in the back of my head screaming at me. One sounds like Brad, another like Barb, and O'Connor and Burke are also running around in there. So many voices.

Don't worry, I know I'm crazy. But I think you have to be to be a writer. If there aren't little people in your head telling you what's going on either you don't know your characters well enough, or you've never been critiqued properly. Brad's running around telling me my shit sucks, Barb's analyzing the prose, and O'Connor and Burke are yelling about me fucking up their shit.

Creative critical writing takes it to a whole new level. If it's creative writing, it's not my story. It's the characters, I'm just the one typing it. If it's critical, it's not about me, it's about the work. If it's both, then all hell breaks loose and I've got writers, editors, and characters yelling at me all at once. It's a little overwhelming, and I know that when I tell my roommate about the angry writers in my head she thinks I'm a little crazy.

But it's true. Such is the life.

Quote of the Day:

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

- Lily Tomlin

The Spring Break Lie (19 of 90)

Yeah, I'm real bad about updating lately. Here's yesterday's post.

It's a Farce!:

Spring Break that is. It's a total lie. The university pretends it's this extravagant week off from doing shit, but that's a total lie. Sure, it's a week where you don't have to go to classes, but that is not a 'break'.

Breaks should not involve 70 gajillion papers and projects to work on. Breaks are supposed to be that time where you legitimatly don't have anything to do. You know, rest up and recover from all the hell you've been dealing with for the past few months. Don't they remember high school?

Since when were breaks a time to catch up on all the shit you hadn't had time to do? Stupid college. Being all sorta real world-ish. It's preposterous. Over break I'll be spending some quality time with my grandparents. And my computer. Like I don't get enough of it anyway.

"Free" time will be "paper" time. Hypothetically at least. I mean, it should be paper time if I don't want to fail or loose considerable amounts of sleep. But in all actuality I'll probably be an even worse procrastinator than normal, I mean it IS Spring Break. Even if Spring Break seems to mean massive amount of papers time for teachers. I hope they realize they have to grade these things.

I'm not sure what all I have to at least start over break. I'm not sure I want to know. But I do know that I should be spending a considerable amount of break time doing various school related activities. It kinda sucks. But that's life. (Life also involves me inevitably procrastinating so lets see how much I actually get done)

Quote of the Day:

"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity."

- Harlan Ellison