Learning

It's been awhile. I can't say that I've been doing all that much. I mean, I have, but nothing that would prevent me from blogging if I wished to do so. Anyway, here's a post. Just a small trickling of things on my mind.

I don't know how to say this:

It's no big secret that during the summers my creative output seems to grind to an unappealing halt. Actual pen on paper, or fingers on keyboard type writing is always at a minimum. It happens occasionally but never with any real results. Just rantings, drabbles (that could admittedly one day turn into something should I ever feel the need to revisit the scribblings) and diary type entries, much like this one. But largely any creative tendencies my mind has are just passing thoughts, and possible fan characters for existing series. Nothing really spectacular. The closer I get to graduation, the more the lack of free writing worries me.

All summer I've had the nagging feeling at the back of my head that I should be doing something. I should be writing. I could be creating a world no one has ever thought of, crafting the beginnings of a tale that could capture the worlds hearts or some shit like that. But then I go back to doing whatever it is I'm doing. Mostly because, I haven't found my original world yet. I haven't been able to sit down and plan out what the world will look like, what will happen to it, and who will be there.

But then, as I wrote that last sentence, I remembered something (which means that this blog post probably won't go where I wanted it to go at all). (In my opinion) The best stories are never planned. I've never written that way. My best work never comes from something that I've tried to plan out, in any aspect of my life. I like not knowing what will happen. If I don't know what will happen readers probably won't either. There's a certain lack of predictability when the story flows straight from the heart. The characters come alive in a way that they're not allowed to when they're preplanned.

So I begin to wonder, why am I so concerned about writing in a way that has never come naturally to me. The best thing for me to do, would to be to just sit down and write. Not from some pre-planned notes. Not from a half-formed out line, but from my heart. And if sitting down to write produces nothing "inspiring" then there's even a form of inspiration in that. Of course, this process only works well for the fictional realm. The second I tried to apply this method to a more non-fictional setting, everything fell to shit in 30 seconds flat and I ended up cursing myself, my 'work', the assignment, and everyone even mildly involved.

I suppose the purpose of that mild revelation was to tell myself to just relax. To just find a character (of which there are plenty floating around in my head) and write about their lives until something interesting pops up. It doesn't have to be amazing. It never has to be amazing. Even the most (seemingly) ordinary situations can provide incite into life and the human condition. Which is the only thing I've set out to do from the beginning anyway. To show life as it is, for better or worse. Be that through dragons and goblins, or average ordinary people. The goal is always the same, and I needed to remember that. So I'm glad I did.

But that wasn't the point of all this. What I set out to do was detail what I do, without fail, every summer while I'm distinctly not writing much.
As I've said before, my obsession with stories, and the art of written storytelling has kind of been ingrained in me since I was little(er). And as such, while to the outside viewer I may appear to be doing jack shit with my summers, I have always been amassing a large amount of stories. Of all kinds. I've been through countless stories this summer alone. Some I read for the craft, to see how they were put together, what the good parts were, how it was accomplished, if I've ever done something like that, if I'll ever be able to do something like that. Other's I've read for the simple joy of the story. To see where the story is going, what the characters feel, and if that feeling was transferred over to me.

I've been trying to sample all different kinds of stories. In high school, my primary reading base was fantasy novels. With a few science fiction adventures thrown in. I've expanded my tastes more, I've read different kinds of stories (I have yet to expand myself into the sappy love stories that my sister loves so much, but I'll probably try at least one sometime soon) my bookshelves are no longer solely inhabited by fantasy works (though I won't lie, MOST of them still are).

Not all of them are stories contained in the pages of novels though. The same process happens with stories in any medium. Movies, games, plays, anything. I look at the words on the page, and while part of me is enjoying the story simply for the story, as time wears on (and this part of me starts becoming more noticeable) the other part is taking note of the words used, how they're being used, why they're being used, and the effectiveness. This part of me is becoming both comforting, and annoying. I'm glad that I'm discerning these details now. It means that I have actually been learning something at school, and retaining it. But it also means that I get ripped out of the fictional dream because of bad prose. Not too bad of a trade off, but when I'm simply reading an article in time and then literally laugh out loud and change stories because of a poorly done lead... well I'm a bit concerned. Normal people don't read the newspaper to see if the writing is up to par. They read it for the news. I read it to see if it's shit or not, who cares about the content.

Mildly concerning indeed. But. Again, it means that my own craft is improving. And that I can see the mistakes of others, and try not to repeat them myself. I don't know how well it's carried over into the journalistic side of things, but at least my prose has improved. Journalism style writing, well that's a different beast that will probably require a lot more work before I can even pretend to say I have any idea what I'm doing. But some aspects have improved, and for now, that's enough.

...though, ridiculously soon that won't be enough either... stupid looming graduation.

Quote of the Day:

"Friends have the power to excel your life, or destroy it."
- Adam Murphy