A whiney rant

Ha. Clearly I am horrendous at keeping promises to myself.

Here There Be Updates:

So, As of right this very moment I am sitting on my bed in my room at home staring out of my perpetually fogged up window. I wish this were an important detain, but really, it's not. It's just a view that over the years I have taken for granted.

Year after year the tree in our front yard grows larger and I can no longer fully see the houses across the street from me. I see snippits between the leaves, but that's about it. I'm sure I'll see them again once fall really kicks in and the leaves all fall off, but again, that's not important.

What is important, however, is that soon. Maybe really soon, I won't be "living" in this room. This house won't be "my" house. Eventually, an eventually that is fast approaching, I will have to make my own forays into the world and learn how to live on my own. And not a college dorm type of on my own. An on my own that doesn't involve me moving back home at the end of the semester and jaggedly trying to mash my piece of the family puzzle into a spot where its no longer fits.

And I don't know if I'm so independent as to be entirely ready for that.

By July (hopefully) I will have completed an internship and graduated. I will be one of... three friends doing so. Ray will be graduating after the fall semester, Brittany after the spring, and me in the summer. Thats it. I don't really know anyone else graduating. The vast majority of my friends are a year or so behind me in schooling. Theres not going to be a massive send off of, "hey lets keep in touch and hangout and explore our lives as newly freed adultlike things". There's no "hey, I'm not exactly doing anything yet either, want to be roommates?"

But then again, last time I tried that shit it ended horridly and I would have been better off moving across the country to reaches unknown without the safety net in place for all the good it did me.

But still, it'd be nice to know someone in a similar situation. Not a feeling of, oh hey you're going off to be all graduated and lonesome as all of your friends are still chillin back at school.

This blog has become epically whiney. And I feel the proper response is, for now, to quit worrying so much and grow a pair. Because growing up is a part of life, and it's not like I haven't been through this before right? You know, minus thew whole grown and with bills and loans to pay back thing.