Dear Non Writers

Alright, I'm going to write this earlier than I initially planned, only because I think there's something you need to understand. And I'm feeling the need to rant.

Dear Non-Writers:

If I happen to be bitching about writing, just accept it. Don't try to console me, don't try to sympathize. Don't try to say you've been there before. Don't try to compare your page limit to mine. Don't tell me how many papers you have to write. Just, please, don't.

You see, the truth of the matter is, none of it, and I mean none of it is helpful. I'm bitching because I need an outlet. Not in any way shape or form do I want you to do anything about it, or even comment more than a general "that sucks". You cannot do anything. Anything. Let me restate that, you do not have the qualifications or capability to understand anything. Yes, I understand you got decent grades in English in high school. That's fine and dandy. But you are not a writer. You have never been, and unless something changes, you have no intention to be.

And I'm ok with that. Really I am. I'd hate to hang out with only writers all the time. We're such self important God-Complex wielding bitchy assholes. All of us. If you're a writer and you're reading this, and you dare to deny it, I will flat out call you a liar. Search your heart, you know it to be true. But really, it's fine to not be a writer.

But there are times, like now, when I really don't want to hear your non-writer advice.

No, I am not writing a "paper", yes, occasionally I will call it so. But only because I know your non-writerey mind doesn't fully understand just how distinct the differences are between a short story, an essay, a critical essay, a creative critical essay, a news article, a magazine article, a feature, a criticism, a public interest piece. Among the many other differences I deal with on a daily basis. And normally, I won't begrudge you the difference, because you just don't understand. Which is fine. But as I near the end of my rope with the non-cooperative articles I'm fighting, not writing, but fighting the inability to understand the difference irks me.

No, I cannot increase my word count by adding more "the's". That's ridiculous. Yes, my word/page count is almost always more of a guideline than a set thing. No, you can't help with critiques. Again, I know your skills were adequate for high school, and yes, you could probably catch the grammar and "this makes no sense" mistakes. But it all comes back to the understanding bit. You have to understand the craft before you can adequately edit anything. Know what I'm doing, what I'm trying to do, where it's falling apart, what's missing, and what I need to get there. And largely, non-writers cannot provide what I'm looking for. Nothing against you, but you probably suck and can't help me much.

There's something you have to understand about being a writer. Not just someone who is told to write something, but a writer. There is something that separates a writer from someone who writes. Something that you can't really be told, it's something you learn/come to realize on your own. But that something, is why you're all of no real assistance. Sorry loves, but really. There's just a certain writer-ly pain and annoyance and attitude that you can't really understand unless you've attempted to be, or are trying to be a writer.

So please, non-writers, when I bitch, just bitch back about your respective fields. I know you don't understand. You know I don't understand. Let's just keep that happy medium, shall we. I really don't need you channeling another narcissistic, high and mighty, asshole of a writer. Especially one that has no idea what their doing. Go back to being nice, normal people. I bitch at you, because I don't want to hear writer bitching back.

End bitchy self important I pretend I'm a writer rant.

Quote of the Day:

"It's none of their business that you have to learn to write. Let them think you were born that way."
- Ernest Hemingway