Ok. Wow. I am fantastically bad at remembering to update. And here I thought I might have a chance of actually doing this right. Anyway, I don't really have an excuse for yesterday. I just forgot. So here's a post to appease my acute writers guilt.
Other people. How are you supposed to interact with them? Should they be the focus of your existence, or should you concentrate on yourself instead? Is the number of people around you supposed to affect how social you are? Those are just a few questions that have been on my mind since yesterday.
Since graduation I haven't spent much time in the company of people who are not immediately related to me. And I've really only spent time with them because I live with them. Without that shared living space, I would probably be something closely resembling a hermit. And as I've said, I'm currently in Atlanta with my extended family. An extended family who hasn't had years of dealing with my distinctly hermit-like ways.
And it's brought some things to my attention. I don't know what to say to people one on one. I have no idea. None. Especially if I don't have a shared interest or experience to draw on. One on one you're stuck asking those casual filler questions like how's the weather, or what did you do today. I hate those questions. Most days people do the same things they always do. Oh, you went to class? That's nice. Oh, work huh? That's nice. Unless something spectacularly different from the norm happened, it's boring for both of us. I especially hate it when people ask me that question. You want to know what I did today? Nothing. Same as always. And then they say well you had to have done something. And I'm just like well if you must know, I sat around. I might have eaten some toast. After which I got on the internet. And maybe I played a game or watched TV. Yeah. Exciting life I lead. Aren't you so glad you ask me this damn question every day.
If you have that common interest or experience you at least have something to go off of though. Maybe they also like TV. You can just ask what they thought of the latest episode. Or who their favorite character is. Bam. Conversation. And you get a free pass to judging them when they are so clearly wrong in their opinions. Experiences pretty much go the same way. Oh, I see you like going to the farmers market. I too like going to the farmer's market. We have much to discuss.
One on one people have this odd tendency of asking yes or no questions and expecting you to answer with more than that. "You're quiet today." Yes. Yes, I am. Now that we've established that I'll just go right on being quiet. Thank you for noticing.
In a group setting I'm much better. Because then someone else is always talking, and all you have to do is contribute once in a while. Through out some laughter. Perhaps a question or anecdote. And when you have no idea what to say, there's always someone to cover for you. Groups are great. I highly recommend that everyone who doesn't like to talk, or has nothing to say, hang out in large groups. At first it seems counterintuitive, but really, you do way less talking when in a group setting than you do one on one. And people think you're social when you do. All you have to do is appear to be paying attention and in all actuality you're just thinking about how you'd really like to get back to your book, game, or whatever it is you do when you're actively avoiding talking to people. And hell, maybe you'll even get actively sucked into the conversation you're having with the people around you, and you'll actually become more social. Yay.
Quote of the Day:
"Happiness is a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
- George Burns
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