Future (63 of 90)

And here we go.

Home:

Wake up in the morning lookin like Mufasa.
Grab my phone I'm out the door I'm gonna hit the shower.
Before I leave brush my teeth with some aquafresh
'Cause once I leave for my clothes I'm gonna be all wet.

Yeah. That's what me and my sister came up with earlier. I really did miss being home. I'm honestly not sure when I was last here for over twenty-four hours. I woke up this morning to my sister playing some stupid song in my ear, and telling me my hair looked like Mufasa. Then when I finally made it downstairs, she was making pancakes.

Talk about awesome.

I wish it could just stay like this. The carefree feeling I get when I come home. But I know it can't. Because every time I turn around someones all like "get a job" or "what're you going to do when you graduate". I don't know what I'm going to do. I have no idea. And I don't want to tell them. I don't want to be disappointing. But I also don't want to do anything I don't want to. I know I'll probably go to grad school eventually. It's always something I've planned on doing. But for what? You know? Do I want to go for journalism? Do I want to go for English? Do I want to go for something else entirely? Do I want to go at all?

I don't know. Part of me wants to take a year off. But what would I do with that year? I've never been that person that's so driven to do one thing. I don't want to go to grad school just because I don't know what else to do with my life. It really seems like such a waste. I wouldn't be getting everything out of it that I would if I went because I wanted to. But if I take a year off, what would I do with it? I don't particularly have anywhere to go. And I certainly don't have anyone to go with. I'm not really the type to up and take off on my own. Or maybe I am. Maybe I will be? Maybe It'll be my chance to do something by myself for once? But I don't know if I like the idea of being alone.

I came to college with a security blanket. Of course, it tried to strangle me (metaphorically speaking of course) and then proceeded to sever all ties with me, leaving me essentially on my own. But even then. I came home on weekends and it wasn't so bad. I knew how to cope. Then there was last year. I somehow managed to make due again, and came out better than before. And this year is even better than that. But next year, who knows? I have no idea what will happen between now and then. And even farther in the future, again I don't know. I'll be graduating at some point. I'll be forced to do... things. Adult type things. Not this pretend world I've been living in. And I don't know how to go about that. Maybe it'll come to me some other time. I hope it does. Otherwise, it'll be hard explaining how I have no life plan. Haha.

Quote of the Day:

"You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it."
- Barbra Streisand