At least I wasn't last:
Well, a few days ago I mentioned I might participate in a tournament. I participated in the tournament. It was interesting.
I spent the past few days wondering how it'd go. And as per my usual, in my head I was entirely awesome and walked out with first place and a brand new set of admiring fans.
Of course nothing like that happened. Nothing at all like that. I finished 7th of 8. A far cry from my first place dreams. But still, I think I did pretty well. And I had fun. And I didn't spaz. That's what's important.
It was funny. I suited up and expected to have to fence someone new. Someone different and better and older. My first bout was against Bill. Haha. A bit anti climatic. Waiting for this amazing new experience, and instead getting to stab someone you spent the past few days with. He won this time around, but it was still fun. I think it was actually a nice transition. Fencing someone I know inside and out as a warm up kind of. Sure it was part of pools, but it was Bill. I didn't have to think and worry so much.
Of course, then there were the 6 other fencers. But I had already fenced out any jitters I managed to have. Which weren't many actually. I was pretty calm all day. Maybe too calm. I think it might be my way of controlling the anxiety. Withdrawing I mean. Fencing Bill kind of removed the tension, the nervousness I felt for days.
For one of my matches I was consistently on the end of the strip. It's kind of fun fencing back there, back foot on the edge of the strip. I had no choice but to attack. It's definite motivation not to fuck up. An adrenaline rush if you will. No where to go, no real options and a left handed giant (compared to me at least) with a tendency to flush staring you down. Definitely a fun experience.
In another I almost won. I mean, until I impaled myself on the end of her blade. But it was fun. Bout ended up being 4-5 in her favor, but I came really close to winning. I found out later she was B-rated. I swear I could have beaten her in a longer bout. That could be my ego talking, but I really think I could have. I suppose that shows my respect for rank, frankly I just don't give a damn.
There was this other guy who was a damn spaz on the strip. Bill pointed out that he fenced like Ray. I totally lost, but still. He was like a big Ray. Crazy large parries that I could have gotten around eventually. Eventually wasn't soon enough for the bout though, oh well.
I'd talk about my DE bout, but I really don't remember any specifics. Only that I knew I was going to loose. But I managed to hold my ground. Final score was 7-15. I managed to annoy the shit out of the guy though. I love how tiny my target area is. Enjoy your off targets you evil little girl stabbing man. Toward the end I stepped it up a bit though. Made a decent come back. I was determined not to fail to badly. After every touch the only goal was to get another one. Not to win. The goal was never to win. The goal was to make the next round count. And I think I did that. I managed to get a few good touches, and ninja/imfuckingtiny my way out of a few of his. Overall, entirely satisfying. Totally tired and not accepting of patronizing comments afterwards though. They probably didn't mean to sound so patronizing, but damn did it sound like it to my tired and clearly loosing ears.
Overall, it was a really cool experience. I'm glad I decided to go. Next time my goal is to be not last or second to last. I'll accept third to last. But I'm done with this bottom two shit. My dreams of grandeur cannot allow a repeat performance.
Quote of the Day:
"I wanna be the very best. Like no one ever was."
- Pokemon Theme Song
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